The Ethics of Premarital Sex
Presented by Rob Adamczyk
About the Speaker
Rob Adamczyk religious background was rooted early in Catholicism to the point of wanting to be a priest. Subsequently being impressed with an evangelical Christian acquaintance, he departed from Catholicism and joined a Protestant fundamental church. But while continuing his religious quest several of his friends challenged his faith and the Bible. Realizing, eventually, the fallacy of the Bible, Rob felt more comfortable with a deist outlook rather than a theistic one, until settling on an agnostic/atheist stance.
About the Event
Announcements
Meeting Minutes for May 10, 2000; #68.Parking at the ramp is free if the name of our organization is written on the back of the ticket. The cashier tonight, however, required payment. A refund or reimbursement is being sought for those who paid.
New directories of members were made available.
A calendar of forthcoming meetings was distributed. A newly scheduled meeting on 7-26 will feature secular weddings and funerals. The atheist convention listed for Lansing in October has been canceled. Dan Barker, former evangelist and now atheist, would be willing to come here in the fall to participate in a debate format. He would require reimbursement of expenses only. A request has been made for a program dealing with phrenology.
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Upcoming meetings:
MAY 24: “Religious Displays on Public Property” by Frank Bacon.
June 14: “Alcoholics Anonymous and Religion” by Jill Pinkerton.
June 28: “The Philosophy of Ayn Rand” by Dennis Murphy.
Presentation
Rob Adamczyk moderated the program tonight on “The Ethics of Premarital Sex”, with the emphasis on teenage involvement. Rob first described his background, rooted early in Catholicism to the point of wanting to be a priest. Subsequently being impressed with an evangelical Christian acquaintance, he departed from Catholicism and joined a Protestant fundamental church. But while continuing his religious quest several of his friends challenged his faith and the Bible. Realizing, eventually, the fallacy of the Bible, Rob felt more comfortable with a deist outlook rather than a theistic one, until settling on an agnostic/atheist stance.
Rob wrestled with the difficulty of giving up the moral authority of the Bible and the teaching of Christianity which had been a source of comfort. Considering that he wanted to properly guide his four young daughters, he wondered how he and his wife would accomplish it without that foundation.
Two traditional viewpoints of moral authority were described by Rob. The first is represented by the “supernatural theistic” which is believed to come from divine revelation, or in other words, God making himself known. Along with this comes the spoken and written word, the Bible being the main source. In this arrangement God commands absolute authority and the fear of punishment is a basic tenant.
The other system is based on rational ethics. It recognizes human values, believing that “evil” diminishes life, “good” enhances life. It sets up principals that relate to human life and needs. Consequences are taken into account. There is inquiry, sensitivity. Words that are avoided are: always, never. Admittedly there is not a clear cut choice of right or wrong. Intelligent thought is required.
Statistics that Rob had researched to help stimulate our discussion were as follows:
By age 16, 1 in 5 girls have sex.
Another study showed 38% of girls had sex; 20% became pregnant.
By age 20, 66% of the population have sex.
There are 1.2 million teen pregnancies yearly. 300,000 end in
abortion. STDs (sexually transmitted diseases) affect 12 million of all ages. 25% involve teens. Less than 20% use contraceptives for first time sexual activity. United States clearly has serious problems with the above results.
Rob mentioned four categories of sexual activities that need
consideration.
1. Abstinence,
2. Permissiveness – with affection, love, commitment.
3. Permissiveness – without affection, love, commitment.
4. The Œdouble standard’ which seemingly sanctions sex for males,
but not for females.
Rob’s conclusion was that abstinence is preferable. Otherwise there are risks, and “safe-sex” is misleading. Author Sol Gordon claims teenage mothers are more likely to produce unhealthy babies. Teen mothers are frequently faced with their own grim futures by lack of education, finances, opportunity, social stature and partners.
Girls are not likely aware that 85% of boys abandon their sexual partners. There are 25 different STDs; 8 are relatively new; HIV being one. Some STDs have no symptoms. Within the teen population there is little knowledge of STDs. Teens are not emotionally ready for involvement. It can be exploitative besides creating anxiety and doubt.
Abstinence can indicate that a relationship is stable. Sex is never a test of love. Studies show that virgins are more likely to be college-bound, leaders, sociable, articulate with parents, in better physical condition, and more rational.
Rob said parents are preferably the prime educators, and the qualities needed in parenting are: being flexible, moderate, tolerant, non-possessing, accepting, informed, honest, communicative, “with-it” and crises proof.
The group’s discussion started with the statement that consideration should be given to the biological changes occurring with earlier maturation, postponement of marriage, and our culture with its suggestive advertising. In our society there is a lack of dealing with sexuality whereas Scandinavian countries have recognized and promoted the need. Fountain St. Church has a program in the character school stressing options and consequences.
Compulsion and rebellion are teenage traits but one way to help is to make kids aware of the responsibilities needed for daily living, especially the costs required for family survival. One parent has approached his kids asking how they would feel if they only had a mother, or only a father. Regarding STDs, caution was advised to painting too grim of a picture as it may disturb normal sexual attitudes later on.
It is believed that welfare reform has removed some of the perks of having babies and is tending to lower teen pregnancy, with the emphasis placed on individual responsibility rather than governmental obligation.
A diametrically opposite supposition was offered by one member who asked: If all of the negative issues were removed, would teen sex be acceptable? A friend has taken this posture and has sanctioned the sexual activity of his teenage daughter. The question was not directly answered, but there is no doubt that the sexual revolution has occurred. In response to a question as to whether women are as interested in sex as men, the women in attendance tonight definitely confirmed they are. Women have been emboldened in our society, and for many fear no longer works.
Despite this, responsibility has to be invoked. One approach is to ask children how would they feel if they were illegitimate. How would they deal with consequences of pregnancy or disease? There was recognition though that kids rarely go to parents for sex education. Unfortunately, the gutter knowledge that prevails is far from accurate. Since many parents have abdicated responsibility, kids are not under control.
Christianity bears some responsibility for sexual woes as it has proposed sex as being “dirty” and evil.
The double standard was brought up again, the idea being that there is acceptability of boys wanting to have sex, but not for girls unless they are in love. There is also the need to recognize the implication of a scenario where the daughter of a single mother is longing to have a father. At the same time the mother is yearning for a husband.
A recent TV program was alluded to which featured a teenage STD epidemic in an affluent Atlanta suburb. The group sex that was prevalent was the result of parents neglecting their children because of materialistic pursuits. Kids felt unloved and unattached. To combat this situation, parenting classes could fill a real need. Many kids don”t have the knowledge of how families function and succeed. Unfortunately the traditional family doesn’t exist like it used to, as less than half the population lives in traditional households.
But are we fighting nature when we consider that, as primates, monogamy is not the normal? Only 3% are monogamous; 97% are polygamous. To further shake us from things we generally hold to be sacred, Mark Twain’s Letters From the Earth, is an irreverent, hilarious, savage satire, not sparing the Bible, or Christians who would exclude from heaven what everyone most desires: sex.
Finally, we must be aware that people will do what they want to do. Americans particularly are in the position of doing more of what they want to do. And for teenagers, the dilemma is intensified because of their vulnerability to the onslaught of our cultural sexual promotions.
